


Attempted Kidnapping

by solomonara



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Attempted Kidnapping, Don't copy to another site, Gen, Humor, Reckless Behavior
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-06 22:34:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19072042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solomonara/pseuds/solomonara
Summary: Someone tries to kidnap Damian Wayne. Damian handles it. Dick handles Damian.





	Attempted Kidnapping

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Tiếng Việt available: [Attempted Kidnapping (dịch)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19184536) by [AlexSummers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexSummers/pseuds/AlexSummers)



> Google tried to hold this fic hostage for a while, but [DragonSorceress22](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonSorceress22) beta read it anyway. Thanks!

"Damian," Dick said. Damian knew that tone of voice. It meant that Damian had done something exasperating, and that Dick wished he was surprised by it but he just wasn't.

"Grayson," Damian acknowledged with a brief nod.

Dick eyed the two men crumpled on the floor of the manor's foyer. One of them was unconscious. The other one probably wished he was. His gaze moved to Titus, looming over them, and then to Damian, standing on the second step of the main staircase and holding a sword. It was one of his smaller swords, but still.

Dick sighed, closed the front door behind him, and put his keys in his pocket. He crossed the tiled floor, going around Titus and the two men. The one who was still awake was clutching his arm and whimpering slightly, but every time he so much as shifted, Titus got a little closer and gave a warning growl.

Standing on the second step, Damian was just about at eye-level with Dick and he met Dick's raised eyebrow with a raised chin. Dick sighed again and jerked his head toward the cloak room off the vestibule. Damian rolled his eyes but followed Dick.

"Titus, guard," Damian commanded. Titus broadened his stance and took up a low, steady rumble from deep in his chest. The guy on the ground let out a little sob and squeezed his eyes shut.

Dick closed the door to the cloak room most of the way.

"Would you like to explain what happened here? Before the police come."

"I have not alerted the police," Damian said with a sniff.

"I know. I did on my way here."

"What? Why?"

"Because when there is a kidnapping attempt on a civilian, typically the police get involved," Dick said.

Damian snorted. "I called you simply as a courtesy because I promised Father that you would be kept apprised of any irregularities while he and Pennyworth are away. Police intervention is unnecessary. This situation was never out of my control."

"Right. And while you were controlling a situation involving two large kidnappers professional enough to get around the grounds security and actually make it into the manor, did you give some thought to, say, maintaining your cover?"

"I have decided that my cover includes being a fencing prodigy and owning a large attack dog."

"That's not a cover. That's just you."

"No," Damian disagreed. "If it were me, those men would be weeping with regret after having been introduced to several long-dead styles of martial arts. And Goliath." He inspected the fingernails on his free hand. "As it is, only one of them is crying and that is because he tripped and broke his own elbow. I am not impressed."

Dick rubbed at his forehead. "Okay. Tripped. We can work with that. The police should be here any minute. Try to look a little shell-shocked, okay?"

Damian widened his eyes at him. "Oh, officer, I didn't mean to hurt anyone but they were just so big and scary. I'm so sorry they fell down the stairs."

"Yeah. Maybe try it without the sword."

Damian scowled and thrust the sword into the swaths of hanging coats, leaving it leaning against the wall. Dick nodded, then knelt in front of Damian, searching his face.

"You _are_ okay?" he asked.

"Of course I am okay," Damian huffed. "Now come along. The other one will be waking up soon. Perhaps we can interrogate them before the police arrive."

 

About two hours later the last of the police cars were leaving. The two would-be kidnappers had been bundled away, Damian had been given a once-over by the paramedics, statements had been given, Titus was enjoying his dinner, and Dick was texting Alfred and Bruce so they wouldn't freak out if they happened to check in on the manor's security.

Damian was sitting on the front stoop with a shock blanket around his shoulders watching the last of the cars make their way to the end of the drive.

"So," Dick said, dropping to sit next to him. "Attempted kidnapping right here in the house. That's rare. For civilian kidnappers, I mean."

Damian made a noncommittal sound.

"Because of, you know, all the extra security. There's the front gates. The pressure plates lining the walls. All the cameras. The panic shutters that come down in the event of an emergency. All the traps on the grounds."

"Hn," said Damian.

"I wonder if we need to beef up security. I mean, those two guys, they were professionals, sure, but they weren't exactly super villains. Seemed pretty average, honestly."

"If you're trying to say something specific, Grayson, I beg you, come to the point before I wither away from old age."

"You're thirteen."

"And yet."

"All right, my point: if I review the security logs, am I going to find that none of the security measures were tripped?"

Damian stared straight ahead.

"Am I, perhaps, going to find that the system was deactivated?"

"I… may have noticed the intruders on the front gate camera," Damian admitted. "And, I simply thought, being as pedestrian as they were, they faced serious risk entering the grounds. I would not want them bumbling into one of the more advanced traps that we maintain for… other visitors."

"Aw, looking out even for low-lifes like them? I'm impressed, kid, that shows real character." He reached over and ruffled Damian's hair. "Now what's the real reason?"

Damian batted his hand away and glared. "I… was bored."

"So you let a couple kidnappers in the house."

"Not _let_. They did have to break in through a window. But when it became clear from their conversation that the only thing they were after was _me_ , and for a shockingly pessimistic ransom amount, I decided to usher them out."

"Oh, sure," Dick said. "Makes sense."

"What if it had been a part of a larger, more nefarious plot?" Damian said. "I couldn't gather information if they never made it this far."

"And if they _had_ been more than they seemed?" Dick asked. "If they were metas, or assassins faking incompetence?"

"Then I would have had a much more entertaining afternoon."

"Okay, that's it," Dick said, standing and dusting off his jeans. "Two things. One: do you understand why I might be a little upset about this?"

Damian studied him for a moment with narrowed eyes. "You do not like it when I needlessly endanger myself."

"That's ri—"

"Even though you yourself do so frequently."

"Excuse me? I do not put myself in danger for no reason," Dick said.

"Oh yes? Last week, you were with the Titans and some villain was making a getaway by air. You dove off a building after him despite the fact that you were with a number of heroes who can fly under their own power."

"That wasn't—"

"And last month, you threw yourself in front of Red Hood during a firefight."

"He was being _shot at_."

"His armor offers roughly three times the protection yours does," Damian snapped.

"I— okay, never mind, I don't need to defend myself. You weren't there, you don't know what the situation called for, and I have the experience to make these decisions in the field."

"Fine," Damian said. "What was the second thing?"

"What?" Dick said, the head of steam he'd been building completely evaporating at Damian's sudden about-face. "Oh. Pack a bag, that's the second thing."

"A bag? Why?" Damian asked, suspicious.

"You're coming back to Bludhaven with me until Bruce gets home."

"I don't need a babysitter," Damian bristled.

"You expect me to agree to that after today?" Dick crossed his arms and met Damian glare for glare until Damian finally stood, dropped the shock blanket to the ground, and turned to storm back into the house. "Hey, Damian," Dick said before he could slam the door. "Don't forget a change of clothes."

"If I am packing a bag how could I possibly forget a change of—"

"Not those clothes."

"Oh," Damian said. "Oh. Well. Of course." He picked up the blanket from the porch and left the front door open for Dick to follow him. After all, it wasn't really babysitting if they were keeping an eye on each other.

 


End file.
